TIDAL is here!

"Time's up, man. I'm gonna go call Daniel Ek."



"He cussed me out in Swedish. Sounded funny!"

The plot thickens...

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 22

Zana and Rivqua spun around and were hit by a blinding spotlight beam.
   "You two!" a voice demanded though a loud hailer. "What are you doing?"
   Rivqua shielded her eyes. "I'm sorry, what?"
   "We're kind of walking along the road!" Zana said.
   "I can see that! Any ideas about trying to leave town?"
   "No. Why would we want to leave? Who's asking?"
   The voice did seem familiar somehow.
   "Yeah, who wants to know?" Rivqua asked.
   The light went out and with it the attitude.
   "Nah, what's the use," the voice said. The ring of resignation was instantly recognizable. Rivqua and Zana took a moment to blink out the red blobs wandering over their eyeballs.
   "Detective inspector," said Rivqua, making contact. "Good evening. Out patrolling I see. In reply to your question, we're just taking a walk down the street here, catching the Vague-Ass vibe, getting some air and a bite before tonight's show. If that's okay."
   The detective sat in a gleaming cruiser, his arm out the window. One head was doing the driving and the other was doing the boredom. He made a dismissive gesture.
   "How's the case going?" Zana said.
   Another flick of the wrist. He could care less really.
   "Look," he started after a big sigh. "Is there any way you guys might consider altering your statement? Like say, you actually saw someone murder Mister Bing and leave in a hurry? I'll match your description to any one of the perps we got in the slammer, and that way we can be done with the whole thing? And I'll free up some sorely needed space at the same time?"

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 21

Daylight was fading fast. Always does when the sun drops into the desert. Neon power took its place and did so as if it had something to prove. In a matter of seconds staggering amounts of wattage had Toss Vague-Ass erupt in a controlled explosion of pulsating brightness, beating to death the very concept of night.
   At the neon storm's epicenter was the Grand Galactica, like a station within a station. Zana and Rivqua left the hotel's huge driveway and hit the Strip, strolling north. What had caught their eye was an old-fashioned flying saucer floating in the air a short bit up the main street.
   It had the shape of a hamburger. Floodlight beams circled the unpolished hull and all in all its promise seemed to match the modest rattle of coins in Rivqua's pocket.
   A self-propelled billboard rolled past them, wheels squeaking, loudspeakers booming.
   "There's us!" said Zana, pointing. The Blonde Plutoz flyer stood out fresh over the torn layers of older entertainment ads. The girls jogged alongside for a closer look.
   "What the-!?"
   Someone had drawn moustaches on their faces and space helmets around their heads.
   "And there it is," said Rivqua. "Highest on the intergalactic artists' list of good-to-know facts."
   Zana quoted it. "You can please some of the aliens all of the time, you can please all the aliens some of the time, but you can't please all of the aliens all of the time."
   The girls slowed to a walk again. The billboard continued up the boulevard, squeaking and creaking, thumping out the radio station that sponsored it.
   Rivqua said, "It's an act of 'involuntary subconscious appreciation'. Ask any entertainment shrink."
   Zana was about to say something funny, when a quick burst of police siren right behind them made them both jump.

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 20

   "Look Grandma!" the trio shouted. "It's the Blonde Plutoz!"
   "Uh-huh. They're blonde alright. Come along now." She waved impatiently.
   The tiny one grunted and stomped her huge feet.
   "We wanna see their show!"
   "Not tonight. In ten minutes the only thing you'll want to see is your pillows. And if you don't, I'll make you."
   The impatient waving showed no sign of stopping and the whiskers on Grandma's face twitched with firmness.
   Zana dropped her voice and leaned closer.
   "Tell you what, girls. Come by tomorrow, or when it suits ol' whatshername over there, and we'll take you backstage. How's that?"
   "Yay!" all three cried, then giggled, paws over their mouths. Rivqua gave the furry matriarch a reassuring nod.
   "Interesting offer," said the middle one, switching to professional mode. "Could we use the opportunity to get an exclusive with you? I'm thinking like, a four-parter, starting in next week's issue."
   "That'll be fine," Zana smiled.
   Charged with excitement, the girls bounced back and joined their Grandma. The Blonde Plutoz laughed. The elderly alien gave the two rock stars a scrutinizing gaze with, it seemed to Zana and Rivqua, a hint of doubt's benefit.
   "Come on, Zan," Rivqua said, feeling light, "Let's check out the Strip, spend our last change."

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 19

   "Planet of the Furballs," said the tallest one. "That's what they call it in the quadrant, but it's properly called Mega-Furries XL!"
   "I understand," Rivqua said. "Who publishes the mag?"
   "We do!" the tiny one replied.
   "I beg your pardon?"
   "Sure! And we know Blonde Plutoz stuff! We got the research down, y'all!" She flung out her paw and pointed in street legal rapper style.
   Zana and Rivqua were impressed. They quite loved this unexpected booster.
   "So, how big's your readership?"
   The middle one tapped her chin and thought for a second, recalling editorial stats.
   "Let me see, for the print edition, there's us three. Then there's around fifteen or so for the weekly oral tradition campfire edition. On top of that, there's the subscriber base for the digital edition which, as of this morning, passed fifteen million."
   The Blonde Plutoz' jaws dropped.
   "Extended family!" the tiny one explained proudly. "You wait and see, this time next year we'll be twice as many!"
   "Fluppy, Flippy and Floppy! Come here at once!"
   It was a furry matriarch who spoke. Her powerful voice cut through the din of the crowd that had started to push through the doors. "We have to check in and it will make a whole lot more sense to the hotel people if you're there too!"

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 18

Zana and Rivqua turned and saw three alien girls hurry towards them.
   "Wow!" the trio of youngsters gushed, bouncing up and down, their big ears flopping about.
   The tallest one exclaimed, "The Blonde Plutoz! You're the only reason we're here! Our parents and our crazy aunts and uncles think we like Toss Vague-Ass and love playing stupid slot machines and adore feeding the dinosaurs in the floating zoo!"
   "But we don't!" said the smallest. "Slot machines are thick in the head and dinosaurs are smelly! We agreed to come just so we could see your show!"
   "And we happen to know you're going to be here eight weeks!" said the middle one like she'd beaten the government to a secret.
   "Yeah!" cried the little one. And went on with a disappointed face, "But we're only here over the weekend," and blew a splashy raspberry.
   Bewildered, the two stars started signing the bundle of writing pads, flyers, caps, hats and sleeves the girls attacked them with. Zana had to laugh.
   "How do you know we're here eight weeks?"
   "We read about it in the Blonde Plutoz Fan Mag!"
   "A fan mag? There's a fan mag where you're from?"
   "Yeah!" they all shouted.
   "Our turn to say wow," Zana said, pen flying.
   Rivqua was intrigued.
   "So, where are you all from?"

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 17

Everyone's eyes were on the ball as it rolled along, jumping between the horizontal and vertical tracks for no apparent reason. The croupier's hand gripped the table's edge. Rivqua noticed the slight flick of a finger each time the ball skipped tracks.
   It came to a stop. A collective moan escaped from the crowd.
   "Black six horizontal!" the croupier declared. "No win."
   Zana shrugged. "No classy dinner for us tonight."
   "I could've told you that," said Rivqua, taking her by the arm. "Come on, let's go window shopping."
   "Restaurant windows?"
   The crowd offered a consoling round of applause as Zana changed places with a fat lizard in a turban who quickly elbowed into position. Both the croupier's faces smiled a fresh greeting.
   The girls headed for the door.
   The evening sun was sinking behind the mountain ranges west of Toss Vague-Ass, producing a brilliant display of orange reflections in the polished towers up the boulevard.
   The Blonde Plutoz stepped out into the warm air. A waft of tropical flowers hit them. Minivans lined the clean drive and scores of new arrivals crowded the red carpet. Group selfies flashed amid shouts and laughter. Porters struggled.
   "That's not flowers," Zana whispered over her shoulder. "That's cheap perfume."
   They made their way through the noisy mass. Rivqua whispered back, "Give 'em a tax-free day or two and it should improve."
   "Hey! It's the Blonde Plutoz!" someone called out.

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 16

   "Place your bets please," the tall two-headed croupier said with a calm and distinguished voice. The most bored of his two faces slid across to Zana.
   "Care for another, Miss?" he said, looking down his odd-shaped nose.
   "I'll go red seventeen vertical," said Zana and blew into her fist, summoning willing power. "All in."
   "And this time she means it," said Rivqua as Zana made a show of flicking her very last chip onto the green felt. Laughter trickled around the table.
   The small white disc rolled toward the two-headed alien, who swiftly scraped it up and repeated her instruction for the benefit of everyone present.
   "Red seventeen vertical, on the gyrolette, ladies and gentlemen!"
   He flicked the ball into a circular track that ran inside a slim wheel. The wheel hung on pivots and rocked slowly from side to side as it spun. A second wheel hung vertically and tilted back and forth as it too spun. The whole thing looked like a large gyro. Roulette gone 3D. One of the many attractions of the Grand Galactica casino.
   Every late afternoon brought them in, the out-of-town shopper crowd, buzzed-up by the sights and the sparkle of Toss Vague-Ass. The games floor was their next domain. Around each table a happy-hour mini-crowd huddled. Hoping, willing on, chewing nails, folding ears, tapping claws. Adrenaline flowed, hypoblubbaline puffed.
   And no less around the spectacular gyrolette.
   "Come on, red seventeen!" Zana cried, fists clenched. "Come on!"

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 15

   "Yes, death apparently caused his demise," said Hoot Gaas without looking up, lost for a moment in the shock of the news. He turned to the door. "Good luck setting up. Let me know when you need the desk."
   The door swung shut behind him. Zana and Rivqua looked at each other.
   "He took it well," Zana said. "If you discount that odd bouncing-my-body-on-the-floor, mannerism thing."
   "Let's look on the bright side," Rivqua said. "We're still gigging. Had Fadda Bing been alive, I'm sure that's what he would've wanted. And this Hoot Gaas guy seems to feel the same way. Death doesn't stop much in this town."
   "Dead or alive, that alien was a born showman," said Zana and looked toward the stage. "And he's sure got the venue to prove it."
   Several block-like sections were now in motion on the high-tech stage, rising and sinking into the floor like huge pistons. Keebo's amused laughter was heard from the back. Basix and Fuzz watched in approval.
   "Cool! We can each have one," Fuzz said, his nimble robot fingers warming up over silent guitar strings.
   "There's scope for that," Basix said with mild interest. "I want a high one, so I can look down at Metro."
   "Don't you always? He sits!"
   "Dunno, man. His goes pretty high."
   With eyes lifted they watched as Metro, his array of pads extended around him, disappeared into the lighting rig.

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 14

Gaas's eyes widened further. He let out a screeching hoot and threw himself on the floor once more, rebounded like a ball and stood there with feet apart, pointing at the girls, feathers floating down around him.
   "You were there!?" he shouted, quaking with rage. "You were present!? Am I also to assume that you are the ones who made him dead-!?"
   "No!" the Blonde Plutoz cried. "No-no!"
   Rivqua came forward one step. "You misunderstand! Listen, he was already dead when we arrived! His secretary phoned the police and they came right away. I'm sorry, Mister Gaas, we should have said something."
   On the stage Keebo had stepped out of his flightcase. He stood listening with interest as his bulky body seemed to come apart, transforming into a glittering array of keyboards, leaving only a spindly skeleton in the middle.
   By the side door Hoot Gaas lowered his arm and shook his head with a moan, his large moist eyes sinking to the floor.
   "The Grand is struck with tragedy. Words fail me."
   "What caused his demise?" Keebo asked.
   "Death did, what do you think?" Metro said cheerfully, atop the elevated platform. He was going through a similar metamorphosis, transforming into a huge electronic drumkit. Small servos whined as pads unfolded.
   "Why don't yous two shuddup," Truck snapped between clenched teeth. She was setting up Zana's guitar stack. "Mouthing off in all the wrong places is all yous two do."

Polar Music Prize 2015!

Great announcement today! The Polar Music Prize this year goes to two galactically talented artists - the extraordinary, legendary Emmylou Harris and the phenomenal Dame Evelyn Glennie, who truly feels it. Congratulations to you both!

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 13

The Head of Floor Operations stood by the door and just stared at his phone, blinking his huge owl eyes.
   "How is this possible?" he mumbled, stunned to the core. His small beak hardly moved. "Bing was alive and well only the other day. And, oh! That was the last time I saw him! No, this can't be. He looked very fresh and proper at the time. I paid a compliment to him to that effect. And now, the poor fellow's gone? He thanked me I remember. No, I can't believe this. It appears to be true however."
   He sighed.
   "Is something wrong, Mister Gaas?" said Zana, trying to sound innocent. Which both she and Rivqua were, but the moment had an odd tension. The kind that occurs after a while of not saying something that really should have been mentioned straightaway. Such as the unexpected death of a common acquaintance.
   After that critical initial moment passes it becomes harder and harder to open one's mouth. Before you know it, a snowball of awkwardness gathers momentum down the social hillside. It wasn't helped by Hoot Gaas's somewhat disconcerting behaviour.
   "What's happened?" said Rivqua with impatience, mostly at herself. She picked up on these things.
   "Fadda Bing has ceased to be! That dear old friend, colleague, associate, partner in worldly ambition, has joined the lifeless! He is dead!"
   Zana swung her arms out in a huge confessionary gesture.
   "We know! We were there. Appalling, right?"

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 12

Rivqua cleared her throat.
   "No, um, it's all just fine. Just, um, glad to be here and, you know, taking it all in. Getting ready to setup now. This really is a lovely room."
   "Haha! You noticed, eh? Yes, the architect was the famous cubic-brained Style Muncher. Took considerable inspiration from the pseudo-classical neo-Mofftillian era. That's all the funny bits you see sticking ut everywhere. The finest showroom in all of Toss Vague-Ass in my opinion."
   Hoot Gaas took a quick admiring look around. Zana gave Rivqua a stunned glance, moving her mouth, "He doesn't know!"
   Rivqua nodded with a finger to her lips.
   On the stage a flightcase rumbled across the floorboards. Truck, wearing a huge tool belt now, opened it and pressed a button inside the lid.
   "Get up will you," she said and moved on.
   "I'll let you show people get on with it," said Gaas, smiling at the girls. "The happy hour crowd will be in dropping in shortly, I must get the floor ready. The happier the better, eh what? Haha!"
   A cell phone signal went off.
   "Ah, that'll be control now," said Gaas, reaching into the mass of feathers covering his plump body. He answered his phone and waddled toward the doors.
   Keebo sat up in the flightcase. He scanned the place as he waited to come online. All of a sudden there was a scream. It was Hoot Gaas who threw himself on the floor, only to bounce right up again in a flurry of feathers.
   "No!" he yelled into the phone. "It cannot be!"

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 11

A side door opened and the alien stepped into the ballroom. He had large close-set eyes and a small beak. Looked like an owl. He waddled closer, waving with excitement.
   "The Blown Kudos! My, this is such a thrill!"
   From the stage Truck was about to shout a strong correction.
   "Aw, what's the use," she said with a gesture and carried on.
   Zana and Rivqua looked at each other.
   "Dear ladies!" The feather-clad alien came up, out of breath. "Ooh! Don't know which is worse, coming down or going up. Well! Haha! My my, it's an absolute pleasure to meet you lovely creatures. I'm Hoot Gaas, the hofo here at the Grand Galactica."
   "Nice to meet you, Mister Gaas," Rivqua said. "And it's 'Blonde Plutoz'."
   "But of course it is! Haha! Guilty as charged. Names, you know. Truth is, I'm more of a numbers man."
   "What's a hofo?" Zana asked.
   "Head of Floor Operations. Which simply means I run the casino and also keep an eye on the entertainment in this wonderful ballroom. It's off-season now but still, keep the guests happy and the jackpots few, that's our jobs, eh what? Haha! How was your trip? Seen your room yet? Seen Mister Bing? What did he say? No nasty surprises I hope? Nothing silly in the fine print?"

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 10

   "I can't believe you're saying that, Zana, you traitor!" Truck made a sweep with her muscly arm. "And it's not like I see a house rig, do you? Where is it?"
   "Unseen assets, Truck dear," said Rivqua and pointed with nods. "Bottom end under the stage, the rest behind the curtains and up there somewhere, hidden in the darkness. Design minimalism."
   "Minimal rock 'n' roll, if you ask me. And the desk? Better not be one of those holographic ones. I ain't touching one of them. Last time my fur sparked with static for a month!"
   "You crackled nicely too," said Zana.
   "Well, whatever type it is, it'll be up there." Rivqua pointed back toward an angled wall of dark glass above the entrance.
   "The Grand Galactica control center," Zana said. "They run the casino from there. Make sure things don't go too well."
   A stocky alien figure appeared in the dim light behind the glass and waved at them, signaling to wait right there, then disappeared again.
   Truck shrugged and headed toward the stage.
   "Right, dimwits!" she hollered and clapped her hands. "Let's do it!"
   Metro's head slipped out from a gap in the backdrop.
   "Check out what I found!"
   His head slipped in again. A soft hiss of hydraulics began, and a section of the center stage rose up.
   "Gotta love drummers," Truck said over her shoulder. "So easily pleased."