GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 9

The big albino ape-lady walked between the empty tables, stopping here and there to look back at the stage, snap her fingers and clap, listening for the 'room'. The Blonde Plutoz slipped through the main doors.
   "Hey Truck, you'll never guess what happened," Zana said.
   "My darlin', then I simply must," Truck said, turning. She shot them a beady eye over her red-tinted shades. "Let's see. We got the dates wrong, this ain't the Grand Galactica in the first place, we're not even in Toss Vague-Ass at all, and you've sold the Star Bucket as scrap metal. But somehow we's gonna gig anyway, 'cause it's what we do."
   "The hotel manager's dead," Rivqua said.
   "My condolences."
   "It wasn't pretty."
   "It's a tough business, what can I say."
   "Speaking of business, how are we doing?" Zana asked. "What do you think of the ballroom? Fancy venue, huh?"
   The tall she-Kong from the Planet of the Abominable Snowmen looked around.
   "Not bad, I s'pose. It'll have to do, won't it? Can't have everythin', can I?"
   "What's with the undecided approach?" Rivqua wondered.
   "Not sure where to put the sound desk. The place is covered in tables and chairs."
   "That's because everyone sits and eats and drinks while we play their socks off. It's a hotel. We're in the land of cocktail dresses and smoking jackets, brass polish and skin wax. It's Toss Vague-Ass, girl! Besides, we're using the house system."

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 8

They could hear Sir Morris preparing himself. He took a deep breath before asking the next question.
   "And the bad news?"
   "Fadda Bing is dead."
   "What!?" The armchair creaked violently. "Dead? How?"
   "Don't know. He just kinda went up in a chemical reaction with lots of smoke and blood and stuff."
   "How perfectly dreadful! And, what, you were witnesses to this?"
   "The smoky and messy bit, yes," Rivqua said.
   "You poor things."
   "Yup, the image will stay with me," Zana said, "probably until day after tomorrow."
   "The police are investigating the incident," Rivqua said. "It is 'averagely suspicious' according to them. I suppose they mean by Vague-Ass standards."
   Sir Morris made a slow whistling noise.
   "I'm truly shocked to hear this. Fadda Bing was a good friend. I can't recall exactly to whom right now. But it's still pretty tragic. Wait! What about the show? This won't change anything will it? Promotion's been running for weeks! The Grand's spared no expense! So I'm told. The town's a-buzz with the Blonde Plutoz! Isn't it?"
   "I did see a flyer in the spaceport bathrooms," said Rivqua.
   "The good news is," said Zana, "we're still on."
   "Splendid!"
   Rivqua checked her watch. "Speaking of which, we should head on down to the ballroom. Truck will be anxious to start setting up with the Bandroids."

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 7

   "I think she meant gambling chips, Zan."
   "Ah. Too bad. Okay, want to go dent the bank after we set up?"
   "Casinos are ingeniously designed to be undentable. If we get into that, they'll only dent us, guaranteed. But it would be fun see the sights."
   "Of others getting dented, you mean."
   "That too."
   The girls picked up their room keys and found their room on the twelfth floor of the Grand Galactica hotel. About halfway down from the penthouse office suites and the gruesome scene they'd left.
   "Hi Sir Morris!" Zana flung herself down on the big bed, mobile phone on speaker. Rivqua swung her suitcase onto the other bed and started unpacking.
   "You want the good news or the bad news?" Zana went on.
   On the other end their business manager cleared his throat.
   "From you girls that's a rhetorical question. I think I'll start with the good news. But give me a chance to sit down first. There, seated and secure. Fire away."
   "The good news is we've arrived in one piece. The Star Bucket held together."
   "What a relief," Sir Morris said, genuinely relieved. "I was worried whether the Star Bucket would make it, with all the technical issues going on. The Toss Vague-Ass spaceport has good facilities so when your first paycheck comes through you put the ship in. Got that? Repair ship first, go shopping second, do you understand?"
   "Mmh."

Moments from last night!

  

EMERGENZA TONITE! - Nuff said, aliens!

Aliens, it's all in the footage...

Here's a taster, dear galactic friends. Live stuff, stage and back. There's still time to warp or wormhole over to Brother Tuck, in Stockholm, Sweden, Earth. Yours trulies going up tonight at 2100 hours (Zulu + 1. Soundchecking as we speak). And don't forget tomorrow's Emergenza show!

Love and nose pinches, Zana and Rivqua and the Bandroids!

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 6

   "And I want a full examination of his stomach contents."
   "Oh come on!" the coroner wailed and threw out his arms. "That's disgusting! Must I? I mean, really?"
   "Yes!" the detective said. He turned to the girls and drew a circle in the air in front of them. "I might want to speak to you two later so stay in town!"
   "We'll be here, Inspector," said Rivqua with a wink. "We have a show to do, remember?"
   The detective left without another word. The medical examiner muttered to himself as he carefully scooped up a tiny amount of blood and put it in a small container.
   Zana turned to the secretary. "We do have a show to do, don't we? Even after this- I mean, we're still on, right?"
   "Yes, business must continue as usual," replied the robot. "The show goes on as booked."
   The secretary walked out of the office with heavy squeaky steps. She was an older model of corporate office bot and found these sad events quite incomputable to her laboured artificial mind.
   Rivqua looked at Zana.
   "We'd better call Sir Morris, fill him in. He'll want to know."
   Zana nodded. "Oh Miss!" she called out, going after the droid. "Would it be okay if we got our room now? We'd like to unpack and freshen up, get our heads together."
   "Of course," the secretary said softly. "The reception has your keycards ready, along with vouchers and complimentary chips."
   The Blonde Plutoz headed to the elevator.
   "Complimentary chips?" Zana said. "That's nice, I'm actually a bit hungry."

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 5

   "It is true, sir," said the robot secretary. She had been standing off to the side, holding the smashed smoke detector in her hands and making sobbing noises. "As regards the residency in our ballroom. The fact that we've booked this series of concerts is an indication of this group's ticket-selling pulling power. 'Stardom', if you will."
   The detective stared a moment, made a 'whatever' gesture and turned back to the coroner.
   "I'm in bad need of facts here. Hurry up with your 'professional' opinion, doc! I want to know the time of death of the deceased!"
   The coroner bagged his camera, slipped off the rubber gloves and returned the pipe to his mouth.
   "Well, in this case death clearly occured sometime between last Tuesday and ninety minutes ago."
   The detective scribbled this down, shaking one of his heads.
   "I'd say he was pretty much dead when we came in," Rivqua filled in. "If not, he certainly was after the chemical reaction blew up his insides."
   "Chemical reaction?" First one head looked interested then the other one joined in. "Was that the funny smell we felt?"
   Zana nodded. "He kinda sizzled inside. Sounded like fish fat on coals. Then steam blew out of his mouth. Great big clouds of it. Could've used a foghorn in here. He threw up blood too. Grossed me out."
   "We've had nicer welcomes, put it that way," Rivqua added.
   "Have you taken samples of the blood?" the detective asked the coroner, pointing.
   The medical examiner pocketed his pipe with a sigh and dug into the other pocket.
   "No, but I was just about to."

Brother Tuck Friday!

Dear Aliens!
Squeezing in another show at the beautiful Stockholm pub Brother Tuck!
When: 20th February, 21.00.
Where: Götgatan 85, Stockholm, Sweden, northern hemisphere, planet Earth. Terrestrial coordinates: 59.3088303, 18.0759964.
Come have a great time with us, sweet people!

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 4

   "Easy, Inspector, keep your hats and shirt on. We're the Blonde Plutoz and Mister Fadda Bing here has us booked for eight weeks straight in the Grand Galactica ballroom."
   The medical examiner lit up. "Grand Galactica ballroom, eh? I got vip tickets for the center balcony. You all playing Sundays too?"
   "Yes sir, plus a matinée at four," Rivqua confirmed with a smile. "You're most welcome to the show and we look forward to seeing you there."
   "No no, I don't want to go, I was just curious. I'm waiting for the legendary crooner Ynot Tenneb to come to town. His show's more mine and the missus' style."
   Both the detective's heads looked away in thought.
   "Hm, wouldn't mind catching that myself," he said. Tapping his pen again he swivelled toward the girls. "You're doing a residency here, why?"
   "Because we're rock stars, that's why," Zana said.
   "Is that so? Can anyone corroborate this?"
   "Only about half the galaxy," said Zana, crossing her arms, "give or take."
   "And you call yourself a detective," Rivqua said, hands on her hips.
   "I deal in facts, kid, not conjecture. Or wishful thinking."

"Friends and foes, aliens and avatars

- you know what to do!" 

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 3

Blip-click. Blip-click. The coroner snapped away for the obligatory crime-scene photos, picking angles and framings that seemed more artistic than forensic. At least it appeared so to the two-headed police detective who looked on, impatiently tapping his pen on his notepad.
   There was something oddly peaceful about the dead alien sitting there, slumped over his huge desk. His calm face rested in a puddle of dark blood. Looked like ink.
   "Alright, enough with the pictures," said the detective's left head while the right one rolled its eyes, "he's not goin' in a freakin' catalogue! How about making yourself useful and givin' me a preliminary verdict as to the time of death."
   The medical examiner stopped and stretched up with a thoughtful nod.
   "Well, Inspector, this one's tricky, mighty tricky. Speaking professionally though, my preliminary verdict would be... based on the color of the blood, I would say... then there's the stiffness of the body to consider..."
   "And all this tells you exactly what, coroner?" The detective snapped back the hat on the head that asked the question.
   "Don't they call that rigor mortis?" It was Rivqua who spoke.
   The detective's two heads turned and the coroner looked up.
   "Rigor mortis," Rivqua repeated. "Stiffness of the body. Gives you an idea how long somebody's been dead based on how frozen stuck the body is."
   "I know some bands called Rigor Mortis," Zana said, "and the name fits their music perfectly."
   The detective pointed with his pen. "You two ladies have been in here from the moment we came in. Why? Who are you and what are you doin' here? Answer me!"

ROLL UP! ROLL UP! SEE THE SHOW!

GET YOUR TICKETS, ALIENS!

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 2

Zana tiptoed around the big desk for a closer look. She peered into the alien's face like a dermatologist, studying his skin.
   Rivqua looked out the tall windows.
   "Man, this is high up. You can see the spaceport from here. Tell me, is it genius or madness, putting this much city out here, right in the middle of nowhere. Considering its reputation, one can't help but wonder. Found his pulse yet?"
   "Where do I look? I don't know where to look! He's not like us!"
   "Who knows? Try the back of the neck or something. Under the jaw. Behind the ears."
   "He doesn't have a jaw! It's hidden under all this flabby hugeness."
   "A history of massive lunches will do that."
   "Where does this guy keep his ears? And look at this neck! Fleshy and wide, and covered in see-throughy scales. Charming."
   "Got no answer for that one. He is quite the alien. Why don't you listen if he's breathing."
   "Are these holes his nostrils?"
   "One or two of them probably. His mouth looks open."
   "Yeah, a regular slime pit and all. There's like, green goo hanging out of the side of- no, not putting my ear to close to that. Besides... ugh, what a breath!"
   All of a sudden a sizzling noise began. Zana jumped back. It came from inside the alien's large body. The girls stared in horror as steam started coming out of his mouth. A stream of blood followed it and quickly made a mess of the important-looking documents on the desk. The swirling pillar of steam spread out over the ceiling and filled the office with a smell of fried onion, fried in something other than butter.
   Rivqua looked around for a smoke alarm. Through the mist she saw it, up there by the chandelier. As if excited for the attention the thing flashed red and went off with an ear-shattering screech.

GALAXY TOUR ADVENTURES - "The Grand Residency" - 1

The Blonde Plutoz stared at the lifeless figure slumped over the desk.
   "Don't tell me he's dead," Rivqua whispered. "That'd be all we need."
   "Mister Bing?" Zana tried, unfamiliar caution and respect straining in her voice. "We're here. The Blonde Plutoz. We've arrived. Half an hour late but- and we're sorry about that but it's only because we were stopped by the police, for flying below the traffic radar. There was some minor issue with our speed as well." 
   The large alien remained still, arms sprawled out, face resting peacefully on mounds of paperwork. 
   "Perhaps he's just tired," Rivqua said. "Overworked. He runs the biggest hotel on the strip, after all. That'll take it out of you."
   "We got off with a warning," Zana carried on, taking a step closer. "That made us feel almost welcome. They settled for our autographs which, and I mean this from the bottom of our wallet-  I mean heart, is an impressive credit to the Toss Vague-Ass skyway patrol."
   "Unnecessary information, Zana."
   "Do you think he's dead?"
   "In a manner of speaking."
   "Perhaps he's had a heart attack."
   "Or a massive lunch. Why don't you feel his pulse?"
   "Too personal. He doesn't know us yet, or know we're here."
   "Right now he's not knowing anybody, or anything."

Emergenza Show Coming Up!

Blonde Plutoz face disaster in the desert city of Toss Vague-Ass!

New epic adventure on the way!